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He found himself drawn into them again, the window to her soul showing anguish and pain. She finally haltingly spoke then. “I’m so sorry. I should have known better. I shouldn’t have put you in that position. Now I’ve only made it worse, and I don’t know what to do.”The revelation hit him hard. The self assured, always in control, confident woman he loved wasn’t used to failure. She was always so on top of things and secure in knowing the direction she was moving, but she hadn’t ever really failed at anything that was important to her. And the fear of losing her connection with him again after the rough week they had already gone through had pushed her right over the edge. She had been so afraid of losing him because she hadn’t thought through another dream fulfillment, that it had rocked her deeply into her core. And even though he had reassured her that he wasn’t upset, the very concept of making such a major misstep had already done its work at fraying her emotions.He had no idea. " she shook her head. "You're the only good man in my life, Evan,is what I'm trying to say. And you're so, so good. Not one men in athousand cares as much about their partner as you do. All the men I'veslept with... and it's always been you I've been after." Elizabeth..." I was stunned. "I had no idea-" And I hate it, Evan! Because I can't have you!" I jumped as her fistbanged against the wall."There's a look you get, Evan, when you look at Ellen. Did you knowthat? Your eyes just light up whenever you see her. Your whole face. Youlook at that girl like she's the only light in your life."I couldn't help but smile just a little. It was true. I was a bit of adope."Every night, whenever you're together, whenever the three of us aretogether, she's always the one you're looking at. You're always lookingat her with that stupid look on your face. Always at her, and never atme. Do you know how that makes me feel?" It hurts, Evan, you and my best friend. Do you know what that's like? Ijust want.
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